你「未死過」呀？！

死 亡自出生的一刻便如呼吸伴隨。它與生俱來，蟄居肉身之內，在生命過程中，死亡總是矛盾地同時外於認知而內於存活。如果生與死是存在的一體兩面，不認識死 亡，便無法完整認識生存；我們卻無法通過體現死亡，累積經驗，獲得知識。你也許曾經命懸一線，或曾因摯愛離世痛不欲生，但那畢竟不是自身的死亡體驗。建立 對死亡的先驗認識，是一種逆向思考模式，其所賴的主體認知能力，卻與文化結構息息相關。

生與死雖然是可視可觸的物理狀態，但語言的抽象結 構令概念需要依賴對立的二元互相解釋：死是生的反面，生是好，死便是不好。中國人忌諱談論死亡，生／死一旦成為抽象的語言，便從自然概念轉變為文化概念。 死亡被賦予各種負面價值，例如喪失、衰敗、弱。漢文化中沒有主流宗教，沒有以靈魂為主體審視客體肉身的精神標準，肉體在天人合一的宇宙觀中是存在的終極。 個人肉體的消耗不是為了錘鍊更高層次的存在，而是為了成全眾多的其他肉體的持續：在祭祀時終結祭品生命，換取利好其他生命的自然現象；在死亡前必須以肉體 繁殖，讓有限的個人生命以族群生命方式延續。死亡背負道德功能，從個人存在層面審視自己的死亡，總是令人感到那麼一點罪惡感。「死亡」讓人羞於啟齒。

資 本都市的生活方式和價值取向，強行將生之夥伴從日常剝離。進食作為維生之基本，我們卻已不再需要經由處理死亡而得到食物。親人的遺體，在管理和效率至上的 香港，輪不到我們來處理──自有「專責」的「環境衛生」部門，把死亡發生過的痕跡快速而不帶情感地從生活環境移除。對死亡無知而引發的恐懼，驅使我們更義 無反顧地要遠離它，保健品、護膚品、藥物、整形手術、保險業、殯儀服務、私營醫療、養生旅遊……數之不盡的消費因為恐懼而合理化，愈加熾熱。資本社會痛恨 限制，認為沒有不可通過消費改變的狀態，「死亡」這種本質主義式的終極限制是消費語話的死敵。

人類可以活上百年其實只是近代的事，並非人 類史的常態。壽命延長了，活在已發展國家的人，一般認為是醫療發達理所當然的結果；一下子奪去大量生命的天災，一般被認為是某些國家過度發展破壞大自然的 報應；針對資本都市居民生命的「恐怖襲擊」，一般被認為是源自少數宗教狂熱份子的偏激惡念。死亡於現代人，總像個欠缺旅費來訪的窮親戚，要來到自己身邊， 恐怕沒那麼輕易吧。類似的觀念漸漸成為看待死亡的基準。我們可曾問，這些觀點由誰人提出？經由甚麼途徑流播？為甚麼我們會覺得合理？

面對 這些近代的、由上而下傳遞的論述時，或許我們可以回溯民間信仰的生命觀。小時候聽到的鬼狐怪談，當中隱含平凡眾生對身體感覺的重視。人類與成仙的動物交 易，為的是飲食男女、財富欲望、採陰補陽、長生不老──生之法則，離不開身之法則。死亡不過是身體感覺的終點。誠然我們無法在生的過程中體驗死，但對它的 了解的先決條件，超越思考，需要通過極致的身體感覺想象死亡，接近死亡。畢竟死，首先就是一件身體的事。

Death as a matter of the body 

Death comes to us at the moment we were born, like breathing. Death is a dichotomy: it is simultaneously innate and foreign to us, as long as we live. If being alive and death are two sides of the same coin named “existence,” we will never fully understand what it means to be alive without comprehending death. Death resides in our bodies, yet there is no way we could embody death. You might have found yourself at a point only a split second from death, or you might have tried to give your life in exchange for that of the one you loved, yet, these don’t count as first-hand experience of death. Death as a priori knowledge demands transcendental reflection and the perspective of the subjectivity, which is deeply-rooted in one’s culture.

Albeit being physical states, the life-death duo cannot help becoming abstract concepts once being described. The meaning of words is founded on binary oppositions, within a particular (and at times circular) system of relationship. If being alive is good, being dead has to be not good. Death is a tabooed conversation topic among Chinese. One possible reason is that life-and-death, once verbalized, mutates from a concept of the nature to a concept of the culture. Negative values are thus attached to death, such as loss, defeat, weakness. There isn’t any mainstream religion among Han Chinese. It is not in our philosophy to objectify our ephemeral bodies through the lens of the subjectivity of the soul.  Our time on earth lived through the body is the ultimate purpose of existence – to enjoy the paradise is the Heaven’s work. The consumption of a body is not for its future spiritual elevation but for the continued existence of many other bodies. One life is terminated in rituals in exchange of favourable natural conditions for more lives to be borne; one foremost function of a body is to reproduce more bodies to avoid the extinction of the clan. Life and death is a moral obligation - one can’t help attacked by a sense of guilt when contemplating death from and only from a personal perspective.

How we live and what we believe in capitalist societies somewhat deprive us of our understanding of death. We no longer have to deal with death in order to obtain food for our survival. We are not allowed to deal with the bodies of our deceased relatives because specialized “environmental hygiene” government departments will make sure any traces of death will be demolished with speed and without emotion. Ignorance brings fear. We are so scared of death and we keep it at a distance through the consumption of health products, skin care products, drugs, plastic surgery, insurance policies, funeral service, private medical system, life-nourishing trips…the more the merrier, say the capitalists who loathe limitations and who advocate that there is nothing one cannot change through consumption. Death as the essential limitation is not a capitalist vocabulary.

It is but a recent phenomenon in human history that our life expectation reaches a hundred years. Those living in developed countries regard this new-founded longevity a “natural” outcome of medical advances; disasters that kill many in one blow are regarded as the “natural” revenge on those who destroy the environment; terrorist attacks that take the lives of urban dwellers are but the evil-beliefs of religious fanaticism. Death is for the poor, the greedy, or the lunatics, but not for advanced citizens like me. Says who? Where did you hear that from? Why do you find those statements justified?

To approach similar top-down discourses, one may take reference to the life view found in ethnical beliefs. Sensual well-being is all that matters in folklores: human and animals spirits acquiring human forms conducted exchanges so that both could eat, drink, copulate, get rich, live forever. To live is to embody. Death is embodiment at its very end. Arguably there is no way we could experience our very death while we are living. It takes more than intellectual reflection for us to make sense out of death. It takes delicate sensations for us to imagine death because, death, after all, is a matter of the body.